Wake Up from Laziness

I realize, know and understand the truth about depending and trust in God. How? And what? Its all come back to you knee of praying! But recently laziness drives me away from Him. I’ve been trying so hard to push my self and make sure i do everything on the to do list to pleased God. End up with failing. its not about i don't have anything to pray, but its just lazy! Can you blame the weather because its autumn? Cold? And feel of comfort under your blanket? awww.. This thing is not what God wants. i always reflect my self with 'how if?'.. How if God is lazy to talk and walk with me? How if He doesn't want to lead me? How if... indeed He is not like that! He keeps His promise and He never change! (Glory To You alone)

what makes praying is so hard? isn't it praying should be an easiest thing to do? Praying is all about surrender to God, Trust, Lean on, and Depend on Him. on top of everything, its all about you communication with God. These past weeks ive been through a challenging week. School is busy, lots of things to be catch up and finished, need to start studying for exams, revisions, I've been abandon my ministry, my family has a problem, sick, lazy, lazy and its all about lazy! all this business take me away from my basic needs of praying and what did you do when you are not walking with God? Lacking? fall to a sin? self righteousness? what else? i always question my self, will i be strong enough to go through to all of this and at the end standing right and realize that i'm still as 'Good' as i'm expected? who knows... you don't hold your future. you don't even know what happen in next 2 hours. Something could just Popping up out of your expectation.

Praying is about communication and relationship. to be practical praying is like when you are on the phone with you love ones, mom, dad, bro, sis, or friend but, this time you are making a phone call to father in heaven. Talk with him like you talk with your mom, dad, love one, friend.. and make your self as comfortable as you can. Yes, bible said that you must go to a room, close the door and pray by you self in that room. But personally i will go and pray with my heart. i pray as i study, eat, go to school, on my way back home, showering.. and in any situation i'm in. its like 24/7 communication with our father in heaven and its free.. no connection fee.. No international rates.. and you can call Him as many as you like!


I always feel that God want to use me even more and He wants me to depends and really walk with Him. but, my other heart said no, i cant, i'm not able to. true! To do a great task im not able to. im limited, far from perfect! yet, He speaks and reminds me of the story from moses. when God come and talk with moses in the burning bushes. moses have been ask to lead the people of Israel to go from Egypt and moses reply that he cant, he is not able to. He don’t have any cool sword but, he have a wood stick that he always use in sheperd-ing the sheep. This story hit me straight away! I feel im too weak to carry a burden by my self. I still got a lot of mission to be done. I can say im the only Christian in the family. Yes my mom and bro knows about Jesus and who is He? But, they don’t really understand or they haven’t have a personal encounter with Jesus. My dad knows about Jesus and he still in the process of experiencing Jesus. So, I always feel im carrying a burden by myself, the mission of introducing and let my family experiencing God is not done yet. This few weeks im ‘hiding’ from God. Its quite funny, why? Because no matter fast I run, no matter where im hiding, God knows where I am and who I am. What God wants is wake me up from all laziness, business and be available to Him. Come on dessy, wake up! I know God miss me to come and pray, talk and be transparent to Him. He took my fall away. He cleanses me and He wants me to be use for His kingdom. He wants me to come back to my knee and PRAY! I do miss God, miss every single lovely moments when He come and touch my heart, speaks to me comfort me.

I know he mold me, im Your ‘cake batter’ o lord.. Mold, shape and refine me as You want me to be! Thank you Lord and Sorry for what I’ve done, hiding from you and not listen to you!

He leads me and with His love, faith and patience that He has on me. His mercy, grace and promise endures forever. GBU all.

in His Grace,

-D