God will never ask you to do something where His grace doesn't provide you through.. another truth that i know but its too hard for me to accept. i feel so pissed and upset these days... things that happen surround me has hurt me. its like when you nail a wood and you take of the nail, the hole is still there and that's happen to me. but all i know.. his abundant grace and presence is more than enough for me...another feeling of burdened and another feeling of upset.. makes my days full of haters and grieve.
sometimes i think i'm the stupid and childish person alive! its actually about a friend who has make a mess with me and the more mess she made.. i call her ''princess'' haha... its not only a name but it reflecting her attitude and her personality! she has double face and if you heard my story about princess you will straight away tell me that im the evil one... but after you know the truth then you will see and realize that she is princess! ahahaha.. sometimes i feel that my life is like a korean drama hahahah....the more she come and involve her self in my life the more mess she made! i dont expect that! and i dont ever want her to be part of my life. but sometimes the more you reject it. the worse it will be and i believe He knows me well.. He knows the best for me.. not just good, but best! and God never gives us a bad gifts.. not like your boyfriend that still a human can always makes mistakes and makes you upset. but He is Jehova Jireh, He is my provider.
i feel like my problem is like you pray so hard to ask what you want but, it's fail! the prayer answer that He gives is not always YES but sometimes can be NO or LATER... now God's answer is NO... i've ask him not to make her part of my life but, as i ask.. and even harder i pray or ask.. everything went totally wrong from my plan and my expectation!..it seems like God really test me out..want me to be His Humble servant. when this problem came and when i reflect my self then i realize is that how you give your whole life to God, wher the answer to all prayer wants to be your way and your answer.. intead of His..???
oh well.. actually being upset and angry of the thing that you doesnt need to be is useless... i fell this problem make me angry and take my Joy and love that God has given away!... i fell so sad that i start lossing my peace, joy and love,... i know that i need that more than anything.. even gold.. diamonds... designer stuff.. of course i can still live without this temorary stuff but not without my Lord...
i know i need to get rid of the haters and the anger also the upset from all this thing.. but i belive and i allow Him to do it according to His will and His perfect time... by my mouth i can say i forgive princess.. but i can say not yet with my heart... so all i do is just allow Him and Holy Spirit to work...
as i've been bless... i believe you guys can feel the same! so..
watch this one and be blessed!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nq9FMrBeN4U
Because of who you are
I will lift my hands
I will lift my heart
and sing a song of love to you
...because of who you are
I offer you my life
surrendering my all,
a living sacrifice to you
because of who you are
everything you are (2x)
Chorus:
I give you all the glory
I give you all the praise
I pledge to you each moment
for the length of all my days
my rock and my redeemer
my savior and my strength
Oh I will ever praise you
Yes I will ever praise you
Yes I will ever praise you, Lord
because of who you are
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